We are a Family of Professed Rednecks. Yep! The Redneck bible (The one you get from cousin Jeff that says "You Might Be A Redneck If") says "You cain't call yourself a Redneck unless you R ONE and WE R ONE!!!
I'm Redneck-1 the head honcho of dish here clan.
We'ins is a family of Northerners, that have been Recycled and then Transplanted here in North Carolina.
There's 5 of Us'ins, here in North Carolina so let me introduce em to Y'all.
There's Mrs Redneck- thats my little woman of 40 plus years. She be a atried and tru redneck. Her favorite Resipee is
Bar B Q'd Spam on the grill.
Then there's Lady redneck she's my blonde haired daughter number 2. Believe me she thinks blonde too.
Then there's Aspole (The chosen one. He also chose the redneck name not me.) he be da 1 married to the lady redneck.
Then there's Da Brat. She be lookin, thinkin, and actin, BLONDE. She be not dumb nor stupid by any stretch of the imagination, but just blonde. Last Christmas she ruint christmas dinner when she ran out of Ketchup.
The rest of the clan is still up north with the cold and the ice and the below zero weather. There tree hasn't forked yet.
We go up thar a time or two each year to a family reunion in July. Dat's how Asspole got himself hitched to the lady redneck wagon. He came to the family reunion lookin for a wife.
Now You might ba a askin yourself How do I know if I'm a REDNECK???
I'm shor glad Y'all asked me that question.
Let's c if I remember some of the steps.
To be a Tried and true Redneck you need one, NO two, NO three, or Is It all four of these things. I think that Usually 2 of the 4 will qualify. Cuz To have all Four will make you on a level with, Well, I reckon you'd be all alone. Nobody is a four. At the very leastest, they wouldn't out right admit it.
Websters dictionary defines a Redneck as "One lacking in Sophistication and Knowledge." That's kinda the way you back into being a REDNECK. You must have been the oldest kid that gradiated the 6th grade. In fact if your father walks you to school cause you're both in the same grade YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.
Another way to call yourself a redneck is to Cut yer hair so the sunshine shines on the back of yer neck and turns it red from sunburn. YOU might be a REDNECK.
A third way to be a tried and true REDNECK is to gradgitate (graduate) from the Jeff Foxworthy school of EDGIMACATED (educated) REDNECKS.
The last way to become a REDNECK is to admit YOU are ONE and We'ins are one.
AsPole for zampl Came over to a family reunion lookin for a wife. He met Lady Redneck and staid. We told him to cut his hair, and he shaved his head.
Lady Redneck drives a truk. The tires on dat truk cost more than da truk.
Actually folks All joking aside, The term Redneck has a conotation we really don't like. It was at one time used as a racial slur.
We are definately not racists by any means. In fact if I could and I have all intentions to try to change that interpretation of the term Redneck. We are not racists. We love our fellow man.
The bible says that we are to love one another just as GOD first loved us. And we do.
We love God and we love our fellow man and woman. We try to show GOD's love in the things we do but nobody is perfect and sometimes we say things that might be taken the wrong way. Like the blonde remark and the sophistication and knowledge remark up above.